So I just finished YET another book for the month of January (we’re up to 6 books finished now). It was called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I borrowed the book from Corinne – thanks so much girlie!! – and figured it would maybe bring a little happiness to my life. I, like the author, don’t have anything to NOT be happy about…we are both just looking for the same thing. MORE happiness. Gretchen chronicles her adventures during a twelve month test drive of the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier.
She didn’t have the option to uproot herself (as I did…moving to Birmingham 5 months ago), nor did she really want to; instead she focused on improving her life as it was. Each month she tackled a new set of resolutions: give proofs of love, ask for help, find more fun, keep a gratitude notebook, and forget about results. She immersed herself in principles set forth by all manner of experts from Thoreau to Oprah to the Dalai Lama to see what worked best for her – and what didn’t. Her conclusions are sometimes surprising – she finds that money CAN buy happiness, when spent wisely; that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that “treating” yourself can make you feel worse; that venting bad feelings doesn’t relieve them; that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference – and they range from the practical to the profound.
Gretchen, meaning to or not, challenged me to look at my life…my happiness…and see where I could adopt some of her resolutions – and create some of my own. By breaking each month into a specific focused topic (Vitality, Marriage, Work, Parenthood, Leisure, Friendship, Money, Eternity, Books, Mindfulness, Attitude and Happiness) she was able to set obtainable resolutions. We often times, in January, set very lofty New Year’s resolutions…only to disregard them come February or March. With The Happiness Project, each month brought new challenges and new adventures. As I read through each month, I became more and more convinced THIS was the way to set resolutions I could actually stick with.
At the beginning of the book, Gretchen created the “Twelve Commandments” for her life in which to live by…when she struggled with a resolution, she always resorted back to her commandments – making sure she was staying true to herself and what was ultimately the most important.
She inspired me to come up with my own Commandments for myself:
1. Be Chelsey.
2. Enjoy the process.
3. Identify the problem.
4. Stay in touch.
5. Give thanks: for the ordinary and the extraordinary.
6. Be loving and love will find you.
7. Let go, let God.
8. Give without limits, give without expectations.
9. Act the way I want to feel.
10. This too shall pass.
11. Be the kind of woman I want my daughters to be.
12. Do it now.
Now that I have my commandments…it’s time to tackle the resolutions. I have adopted a few of Gretchen’s resolutions I feel will make my life happier…
*Go to sleep earlier. I get maybe 6-7 hours of sleep a night…I get home from work, get distracted and start reading, or emailing, or facebooking, or cleaning, or a horrible combination of ALL of these things. I am making a concerted effort to be in bed by 10pm every night. With this resolution comes her suggestion of the “10 minute tidy up”…taking 10 minutes each night to get clothes prepared for the next day, wash dishes, organize the mail stack, etc. JUST 10 minutes. I’ve done my tidy up each night and I wake up refreshed because I don’t have to run around like a crazy person that next morning when the alarm goes off at 5am; it’s already taken care of…which means I don’t lay in bed at night thinking about the tiny tasks that start piling up every day.
*Don’t expect praise or appreciation. Remember how in elementary school receiving a gold star if you did something good? Well, grown up life is sometimes not like that…we often times go searching for that proverbial gold star and feel disappointed when no one “rewards” up for something good we’ve done. My gold start needs only to be that feeling of accomplishment within myself.
*Give proofs of love. I love my friends and sometimes I don’t show it as often as I’d like. I really want to tackle the task of hand written letters, “happy” presents just because, messages just to say hello and quality time with no purpose other than to show my love for my friends.
*Launch a blog. Well…technically that’s already taken care of, duh. BUT I’d like to be more active on my blog. Gretchen recommended writing EVERY day to make your blog worthwhile to my readers, and ultimately to myself. I talked in an earlier blog about having a chronological account of my life…well, here it is.
*Enjoy now. I often times get too caught up in thinking about the future to enjoy the moment…I typically live by a planner – it’s in my purse (with my green pen, duh) and I’ve been trying to reference it less often. Just enjoy the present.
*Take time for projects. I have an artsy side…not sure if a lot of people know that. I went to college for interior design and was a practicing registered interior designer for almost 4 years. My favorite class in college was a tossup between art history (of which I think I look 3 or 4 classes) and photography. In college I should have bought stock in Hobby Lobby with how much money I gave them. Since having a career change and being disconnected to the artistic world, I rarely take time to release my creative juices. I love scrapbooks, home-made crafts, paintings, etc. I just never make time for these anymore…my resolution is to do one crafty thing a month. My glue gun and the jar of buttons on my desk are just asking to be used.
*Remember birthdays. Praise the Lord for facebook – for without such, I would not know people’s birthday. BUT a simple facebook message is not enough…nor a text for that matter. I make a resolution to either call someone personally…or even better, send a written birthday card to them. I LOVE cards…literally will spend hours in CVS picking out cards for just the right occasion. I would like to make birthday cards more of a habit.
*Don’t gossip. Water cooler talk. I hate gossip. I hate spreading it. I hate hearing it. I hate being the one gossiped about! I make a resolution that if I’m around gossip…I will just walk away. I will not partake…even just being in the presence of something someone is saying; I don’t want to be associated with that.
*Spend Out. I tend to cling to things – I reuse razor blades until they’re dull and keep toothbrushes until they are frayed. I buy items and keep them for a “special” occasion…an occasion that never comes around and the new item becomes old. I want to use the good stationary, wear the dress that has to be dry cleaned every time I wear it, drink the expensive wine, and not save ideas of fun things to do for a rainy day.
*Keep a gratitude notebook. So, I talked in an earlier blog about writing my 2012 Recap. I’ve decided not only to write down my accomplishments and note worthy events in my life. I’m going to write what I’m grateful for in that moment. It’s one thing to feel but a completely different concept to write it down, have that record, and be able to look back at the different things in my life that I was grateful in that moment.
*Imitate a spiritual master. John 13:15 says “I have set you an example, that you should do as I have done for you.” As a follower of Christ my mission is to spread His word and be a worldly example of God’s love for his people. We all wore those WWJD bracelets in high school…mine was blue…and I don’t think I fully grasped the implications of truly walking like Jesus. I have made a resolution to memorize scripture…each morning when I do my devotion, I write down the verse on a note card – carrying the card with me all day; reading as often as possible to engrain into my brain. May I make a daily effort to be like Christ.
*Write a novel. Not a lot of details here about this…yet. BUT it IS on my bucket list and the book has been started. It will come to fruition within the next 5 years. Teaser: it’s about relationships. Gretchen was able to write a book in a MONTH…yeah, that’s not gonna happen with this chick – nonetheless, still a lofty goal on the bucket list.
*Give positive reviews. We are huge on feedback at Lululemon…and I’ve tried to take this exercise into my daily life. Giving someone positive feedback for their hard work will make them work harder. I’d like everyone – even the bank teller at Wells Fargo or the server at Taziki’s that they are of value. A smile or a “thanks” goes a long way. Gretchen suggest “Pollyanna Week”…a week of being as nice as possible to anyone you come into contact with; challenging you to ignore the things that often times annoy the crap out of you or dismissing something that ordinarily may have pissed you off.
*Travel…often. I have a HUGE growing bucket list of places to visit. So…instead of wishing and hoping I’ll make it to these places one day, I’m doing something about it. I’m making plans. I’m booking flights. I’m reading Foder’s. And I’m going to travel the world. I will set “by when” for all my places I’d like to travel and I will slowly check off my list...one city or country at a time. First up – San Francisco with my mom in April.
As I’ve said before, I read books that challenge me…I like to have a take away from each read. Gretchen’s passion for her life and her happiness jumps off the page, and reading just a few chapters of this book will inspire you to start your own happiness project. I definitely don’t have all the details figured out – like having a resolutions chart, when/where I plan to volunteer each month, writing in a one sentence journal each day, maintaining my blog like I’d prefer to, capturing photos at every event I attend, always writing thank you notes, and keeping a food diary. BUT I believe I am well on my way to my own happiness project. I am armed with my resolutions and pray I will always “Be Chelsey”.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
2012...A Fresh Start!!
So...I sat down for about 3 hours on December 31st (at my favorite coffee shop in town - Urban Standard...if you havent tried it, you should. And totally not paleo - but you should try their red velvet cupcakes: OMG!!) Anyways...in this long afternoon, I did a lot of pondering about my life. What I accomplished in 2011, what I want to accomplish in 2012, where I see myself in 10 years, etc. I created one document titled "2011 Recap"...here's the sad thing - there are about 3 months that I have no clue what happened in my life. Literally, I know I worked and worked out, but I have no significant moments that stand out from a large part of that year. I started feeling like I had wasted my time.
So, I created a second document: "2012 Recap". I promised myself that ANY time I accomplish something, I will write it down in my recap. For instance...yesterday I set a new 3x back squat max...I added that to the recap. This way...I'll SEE how I'm getting closer to my goals and have a way to look back at my progress and transitions along the way. AND if I'm feeling down about myself, I'll have a way to remind myself of my progress in life. I would hate to be sitting in Urban Standard on December 31st, 2012 and feel the way I did last week...I want to remember it all and feel like I'm always growing physically, mentally and spiritually.
I made one more document: "2012 Goals". I had 4 categories for my goals: crossfit, work, travel, and personal. And (thanks to the tip from Lululemon) I made BY WHEN's for all my goals - I set a month as to when that goal will be accomplished. Now that I've actually written my goals on a typed document (something I've never done before)...they feel real; they feel obtainable. Forrest may say this at his goal setting seminar on Thursday because it's something that he mentioned at the last goal setting seminar..."If you dont write down your goals, they are only wishes. If they are wishes and you dont achieve them, you have no one (or no document) to hold you accountable." I'm thinking about changing the title of that word document to "2012 Contract"...a contract with myself of things to continually work at.
So, one of my personal goals was to read a book a week. I set this goal in 2010 and ended up reading somewhere in the 40's. I think I'll beat that this year...it's January 10th and I've already read THREE books!! (Insert mental image of Chelsey hundered down every night in her reading chair, glasses an all.) The reason I've been reading so much - these books are AWESOME!!
The books:
1) Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us by Seth Godin
2) One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard
3) Radical by David Platt
The stack of books on my reading table is growing DAILY and my eyes balls cannot move fast enough to read everything, but what I do know is this - I am inspired by books. I am inspired by people who have a vision and put their thoughts into written words. I am challenged by books. I am pushed to think outside the box. I learn something EVERY time I read.
I've been pretty diligent about posting my TOD's on facebook. My TOD's almost always come from something I've read that day - be it a devotional, my latest book, a crossfit journal article, saying from one of the MANY blogs that I follow, etc.
I hope that MY words challenge someone, inspire someone to write down their goals, to accomplish something new, and to remind everyone that this life is short...compared to the eternity we will get in heaven. Enjoy EVERY moment and thank God daily for the many, many skills you are given to reach and exceed those goals. Push beyond your limits...always.
So, I created a second document: "2012 Recap". I promised myself that ANY time I accomplish something, I will write it down in my recap. For instance...yesterday I set a new 3x back squat max...I added that to the recap. This way...I'll SEE how I'm getting closer to my goals and have a way to look back at my progress and transitions along the way. AND if I'm feeling down about myself, I'll have a way to remind myself of my progress in life. I would hate to be sitting in Urban Standard on December 31st, 2012 and feel the way I did last week...I want to remember it all and feel like I'm always growing physically, mentally and spiritually.
I made one more document: "2012 Goals". I had 4 categories for my goals: crossfit, work, travel, and personal. And (thanks to the tip from Lululemon) I made BY WHEN's for all my goals - I set a month as to when that goal will be accomplished. Now that I've actually written my goals on a typed document (something I've never done before)...they feel real; they feel obtainable. Forrest may say this at his goal setting seminar on Thursday because it's something that he mentioned at the last goal setting seminar..."If you dont write down your goals, they are only wishes. If they are wishes and you dont achieve them, you have no one (or no document) to hold you accountable." I'm thinking about changing the title of that word document to "2012 Contract"...a contract with myself of things to continually work at.
So, one of my personal goals was to read a book a week. I set this goal in 2010 and ended up reading somewhere in the 40's. I think I'll beat that this year...it's January 10th and I've already read THREE books!! (Insert mental image of Chelsey hundered down every night in her reading chair, glasses an all.) The reason I've been reading so much - these books are AWESOME!!
The books:
1) Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us by Seth Godin
2) One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard
3) Radical by David Platt
The stack of books on my reading table is growing DAILY and my eyes balls cannot move fast enough to read everything, but what I do know is this - I am inspired by books. I am inspired by people who have a vision and put their thoughts into written words. I am challenged by books. I am pushed to think outside the box. I learn something EVERY time I read.
I've been pretty diligent about posting my TOD's on facebook. My TOD's almost always come from something I've read that day - be it a devotional, my latest book, a crossfit journal article, saying from one of the MANY blogs that I follow, etc.
I hope that MY words challenge someone, inspire someone to write down their goals, to accomplish something new, and to remind everyone that this life is short...compared to the eternity we will get in heaven. Enjoy EVERY moment and thank God daily for the many, many skills you are given to reach and exceed those goals. Push beyond your limits...always.
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