I found this poem my junior year of college. I keep it on my fridge and read it every morning. On days I feel down, it picks me up. On the good days it makes me feel empowered. This is a friendly reminder to all women out there that you are amazing!
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A good woman is proud. She respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs.
A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love. She recognized that her love has great value and must be recriprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.
A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will at times have to insipre others to reach the potential God gave them. A good woman knows her past, understands her present and forces toward the future.
A good woman knows God. She knows that with God the world is her playground, but without God she will just be played. A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons meant to bring her closer to self-knowledge and unconditional self-love...
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Cherry Coke Zero and Will Power - An odd Combo.
As defined by Widipedia will power is the ability to exert one's will over one's actions. It manifests as inner firmness, decisiveness, determination, resolution and persistence. Also related to selfcontrol, the ability of a person to exhert his/her will over the inhibitions of their body or self.
I have determined that I have no will power when it comes to certain things. In particular cherry coke zero's and candy.
Typical morning...Get in the car and drive to work. Must brace hands firmly on steering wheel so I dont turn down the street with the gas station. Crap...turned down the street with the gas station. Talking to self..."Self, DONT go to the gas station. You dont NEED a cherry coke zero." Will power lost...pull into gas station. Once in gas station think to self..."Self, I'm hungry...maybe I should get a bag of peach rings." (How this is a justifiable breakfast, I'm not sure.) Pay for coke, and candy...and oh hell, throw in a pack of gum too. Get in car, drive to work. Think to self..."Self, I'll make this the last day I get a coke." Next morning...Get in car and drive to work. Must brace hands firmly on steering wheel so I dont turn down the street with the gas station. Crap...turned down the street iwth the gas station...You get the point.
I get to Friday and I've gotten a coke for the past 4 days. And I think..."Man, I dont even want a coke today - I'm not even sure if I like the taste of it." But what do I do?? I buy a coke...out of habit. Drinking a cherry coke is like a drug to me, I cant stop. It's an addition where I cannot overcome the high...I want another one. Then after I buy it and am left unsatisfied, I want another one. The constant up and down is like the merry-go-round of a drug addict.
The weekend comes and goes (of course with lots of cokes and candy), but it's the weekend - whatever you eat and drink on the weekend doesnt count. Right? :) Sunday night I convince myself that I will start fresh tomorrow. I will quit coke and candy...for good. I'm good for two days, get stressed, break down and buy one. The will power constantly being lost.
I know this sounds absolutely pathetic. Yes, I'm technically not addicted to a "hardcore drug" but caffeine is indeed a drug. And I cannot quit. I've done the math - one average I spend $80-$100 a MONTH on coke and candy. That's twice as much as I spend on my gym membership. So does that mean that I should have to work out at least twice as hard to burn off all those empty calories?!?! Not to mention the hole that is left in my bank account - that unaccounted for money, gone down the tube for nothing?
So...how do I find the will power to quit? I try to rationalize it out in my head: 1) that's too much money to spend on crap; 2) I have nothing to show for that purchase; 3) my pants are getting tigher, should I take this as a sign; 4) my other friends arent addicted to cherry coke zero and candy like me; 5) I'm an athlete, why dont I just enjoy a water?; 6) I have control over myself.
Someone please let me know where I can find the will power. I sit here (three empty cheery coke bottles on my desk later) and convince myself that TOMORROW will be the day. Tomorrow will be the day that I find the will power. It's tucked away, burried beneath layers of carbonated water, caramel color, phosphoric acid, aspartame, potassium benzoate, natural flavors, acesulfame potassium, citric acid, malic acid, potassium citrate and caffeine. Tomorrow I will slowly chip those layers away, revealing the hidden beauty of my will power. My will power to control my addiction.
I have determined that I have no will power when it comes to certain things. In particular cherry coke zero's and candy.
Typical morning...Get in the car and drive to work. Must brace hands firmly on steering wheel so I dont turn down the street with the gas station. Crap...turned down the street with the gas station. Talking to self..."Self, DONT go to the gas station. You dont NEED a cherry coke zero." Will power lost...pull into gas station. Once in gas station think to self..."Self, I'm hungry...maybe I should get a bag of peach rings." (How this is a justifiable breakfast, I'm not sure.) Pay for coke, and candy...and oh hell, throw in a pack of gum too. Get in car, drive to work. Think to self..."Self, I'll make this the last day I get a coke." Next morning...Get in car and drive to work. Must brace hands firmly on steering wheel so I dont turn down the street with the gas station. Crap...turned down the street iwth the gas station...You get the point.
I get to Friday and I've gotten a coke for the past 4 days. And I think..."Man, I dont even want a coke today - I'm not even sure if I like the taste of it." But what do I do?? I buy a coke...out of habit. Drinking a cherry coke is like a drug to me, I cant stop. It's an addition where I cannot overcome the high...I want another one. Then after I buy it and am left unsatisfied, I want another one. The constant up and down is like the merry-go-round of a drug addict.
The weekend comes and goes (of course with lots of cokes and candy), but it's the weekend - whatever you eat and drink on the weekend doesnt count. Right? :) Sunday night I convince myself that I will start fresh tomorrow. I will quit coke and candy...for good. I'm good for two days, get stressed, break down and buy one. The will power constantly being lost.
I know this sounds absolutely pathetic. Yes, I'm technically not addicted to a "hardcore drug" but caffeine is indeed a drug. And I cannot quit. I've done the math - one average I spend $80-$100 a MONTH on coke and candy. That's twice as much as I spend on my gym membership. So does that mean that I should have to work out at least twice as hard to burn off all those empty calories?!?! Not to mention the hole that is left in my bank account - that unaccounted for money, gone down the tube for nothing?
So...how do I find the will power to quit? I try to rationalize it out in my head: 1) that's too much money to spend on crap; 2) I have nothing to show for that purchase; 3) my pants are getting tigher, should I take this as a sign; 4) my other friends arent addicted to cherry coke zero and candy like me; 5) I'm an athlete, why dont I just enjoy a water?; 6) I have control over myself.
Someone please let me know where I can find the will power. I sit here (three empty cheery coke bottles on my desk later) and convince myself that TOMORROW will be the day. Tomorrow will be the day that I find the will power. It's tucked away, burried beneath layers of carbonated water, caramel color, phosphoric acid, aspartame, potassium benzoate, natural flavors, acesulfame potassium, citric acid, malic acid, potassium citrate and caffeine. Tomorrow I will slowly chip those layers away, revealing the hidden beauty of my will power. My will power to control my addiction.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Oranges...Post Script
Life is Like a Bag of Oranges...
There is some truth to Forrest Gump's saying "Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get." But I have to somewhat disagree with this statement. When you get a box of chocolates, but KNOW there will be some bad ones in there. You know you will inevitablly bite into the strawberry cream or the cherry jelly filled pieces if you arent paying attention. You know you will like some of them and and you will hate some of them. BUT now days...Whittman's chocolate marketing team has gotten smart - they label the inside of the box with what each piece of chocolate contains. You KNOW what you're getting yourself into; you know which pieces to avoid like the plague. You can enjoy the carmel and marshmellow and dark chocolate pieces and throw the other ones away. Life is NOT like this. You can't pick out the fun, delicious times and set aside all of those moments you dont want to experience. So...like is not always like a box of chocolates.
So today, I've decided like is like a bag of oranges - let me explain. When you go to the store and you're walking through the produce section you see this nice bag of delicious Florida oranges. 10 golden, perfect oranges in the bag. One the outside they look beautiful like the ones you see on orange juices boxes; no bruises, no punctures. Perfect. You cannot wait to get home to eat the Vitamin C goodness - the juice filing your mouth as you take that first bite.
You peel the first orange. The skin is tough and thick. By the time you get the skin off, the orange is half the size of which you started. The second orange has thin skin that peals off easily, but as you break the segments apart, you realize that almost the entire orange is that gross stringy white stuff instead of the meat of the fruit. The third is filled with millions of seeds. The fourth is bitter and you can barely keep from crying each time you take a bite. The fifth is a combination of the other four. So...by the end of the week - here you are 5 oranges into the bag and you're very unsatisfied. Do you throw away the bag and forfeit the other 1/2 guessing that they may be like the other crappy fruits? Or do you give them a shot, praying that they will taste like you imagined them to? Maybe it would be better to have tried to enjoy a juicy orange, wasting 5 minutes of your day to peel it in hopes that you can enjoy at least 30 cents of your bag of oranges purchase.
This is exactly like life. Things may seem perfect on the outside - untarnished, balanced, symetrical and beautiful. But as you walk through like, experiencing each day, each moment, you realize that no day or experience is the same. Even if you imagined or planned it to be that way. Sometimes life is a combination of unexpecteds. Then, halfway through life, you're ready to give up because things haven't gone your way; you think that things may not get better. But that's the gamble you must make. You must decide it's better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Life is worth experiencing those disgusting, sour, bland, stringy times so that you can savior those satisfying moments when everything seems "just like you imagined" them to be.
I don't even really like oranges. I the juice they produce. I dont like how they leave your hands sticky and smelly all day. But again, like life, you never know what the fuss is all about until you dive in and experience things hands on. I think I might buy a bag of oranges this afternoon...I could use a little variety in my life.
So today, I've decided like is like a bag of oranges - let me explain. When you go to the store and you're walking through the produce section you see this nice bag of delicious Florida oranges. 10 golden, perfect oranges in the bag. One the outside they look beautiful like the ones you see on orange juices boxes; no bruises, no punctures. Perfect. You cannot wait to get home to eat the Vitamin C goodness - the juice filing your mouth as you take that first bite.
You peel the first orange. The skin is tough and thick. By the time you get the skin off, the orange is half the size of which you started. The second orange has thin skin that peals off easily, but as you break the segments apart, you realize that almost the entire orange is that gross stringy white stuff instead of the meat of the fruit. The third is filled with millions of seeds. The fourth is bitter and you can barely keep from crying each time you take a bite. The fifth is a combination of the other four. So...by the end of the week - here you are 5 oranges into the bag and you're very unsatisfied. Do you throw away the bag and forfeit the other 1/2 guessing that they may be like the other crappy fruits? Or do you give them a shot, praying that they will taste like you imagined them to? Maybe it would be better to have tried to enjoy a juicy orange, wasting 5 minutes of your day to peel it in hopes that you can enjoy at least 30 cents of your bag of oranges purchase.
This is exactly like life. Things may seem perfect on the outside - untarnished, balanced, symetrical and beautiful. But as you walk through like, experiencing each day, each moment, you realize that no day or experience is the same. Even if you imagined or planned it to be that way. Sometimes life is a combination of unexpecteds. Then, halfway through life, you're ready to give up because things haven't gone your way; you think that things may not get better. But that's the gamble you must make. You must decide it's better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Life is worth experiencing those disgusting, sour, bland, stringy times so that you can savior those satisfying moments when everything seems "just like you imagined" them to be.
I don't even really like oranges. I the juice they produce. I dont like how they leave your hands sticky and smelly all day. But again, like life, you never know what the fuss is all about until you dive in and experience things hands on. I think I might buy a bag of oranges this afternoon...I could use a little variety in my life.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Revit, Sketch Up, CAD...Oh My!
Because of my job, my brain now functions like an computer - ideas and goals stored into neatly organized files, managing times to hang out with my friends like an Outlook calendar with reminder pop-ups and replaying events I did (and sometimes didn't) enjoy over and over again like a repeat button. On the architectural sides of that computer brain - I dimension objects in my dreams, try to rotate Word documents in 3-D and attempt to zoom closer into photos on facebook to get a better look. My brain knows three modes - Revit, Sketch Up and AutoCAD; Revit being the newest addition to the hardrive of my brain.
My newest project has 143 and 71 degree angles in additional to the regular 90 degree ones...I'm sure I often have the puzzled dog look when working on the computer - you know...head slightly cocked as if confused. That's me - tilting my head to make things appear more "square". Revit has no layers, no colors and no depth. I'm work constantly staring at a black and white screen. The only color coming from the numerous website pages I frequent daily - the usuals: CNN, MSN, Facebook, Wachovia, You Tube, YMCA, Samford and Blogger. (With a list that long, you'd think I didnt get much work done...) I need a little stimulation to this otherwise robotic brain of mine. I suprised I haven't resported talking in a monotone voice like the old school toy "Speak and Spell".
We had a Sketch-up inner-office lunch and learn today. A waste of time was more like it - I already know the program, so why was this luncheon mandatory? I dunno. I spent 10 minutes making a smiley face on the tackboard behing me with thumb tacks. The OCD side of my brain got the best of me as I tried to fold my napkin into perfect triangles. I have resorted to child-like behaviors as an attempt to pull myself out of this computer program overload.
I have a headache just thinking about how much my brain is progessing right now...Advil time.
My newest project has 143 and 71 degree angles in additional to the regular 90 degree ones...I'm sure I often have the puzzled dog look when working on the computer - you know...head slightly cocked as if confused. That's me - tilting my head to make things appear more "square". Revit has no layers, no colors and no depth. I'm work constantly staring at a black and white screen. The only color coming from the numerous website pages I frequent daily - the usuals: CNN, MSN, Facebook, Wachovia, You Tube, YMCA, Samford and Blogger. (With a list that long, you'd think I didnt get much work done...) I need a little stimulation to this otherwise robotic brain of mine. I suprised I haven't resported talking in a monotone voice like the old school toy "Speak and Spell".
We had a Sketch-up inner-office lunch and learn today. A waste of time was more like it - I already know the program, so why was this luncheon mandatory? I dunno. I spent 10 minutes making a smiley face on the tackboard behing me with thumb tacks. The OCD side of my brain got the best of me as I tried to fold my napkin into perfect triangles. I have resorted to child-like behaviors as an attempt to pull myself out of this computer program overload.
I have a headache just thinking about how much my brain is progessing right now...Advil time.
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