Friday, October 21, 2011

Things Change...

So...I'm quickly approaching my 10 year high school reunion (!!) and I decided to take a trip down memory lane, and pulled out my senior year scrapbook. I created the scrapbook as a part of senior year english class - each entry having a written entry...almost blog like. (Dont know if blogs existed then, or if they did - you were quirky if you had a blog.)

One of the entries that caught my eye - Things I Love and Things I Hate.

It crazy how God is molding me into a new person...a large portion of the things on the "I hate" list are things that DEFINE me now, things that make me who I am...in 2001 theses were the things I hated:

*The color green. (Seriously?!? That's my favorite color...ask anyone. I have a green bedspread, green living room rug, green office chair, green coffee tumbler, waterbottle and protein shaker, green computer, green workout headband, etc.)

*Having people see me without make-up on. (It's a rare treat if you see me WITH makeup on these days...I'm completely comfortable with a naked face.)

*Sea Food. (Love it!! Paleo has changed my eating and I eat seafood at least once a week!)

*Being in charge of planning an event. (In college I was the social director and step sing director of my sorority. In the working world I was on every single professional organization possible. I love helping plan crossfit events, throwing birthday parties/showers, organizing book clubs. Any reason to gather people together...I love being the ringleader.)

*Cleaning. (I love to clean. It's calming. It makes me feel accomplished and I love coming home to a clean house or getting into a freshly made bed. I'm OCD now about cleanly-ness. Cannot go to bed with dishes in the sink or laundry in the wash.)

*Speaking to/or leading a group. (Very ironic. My previous job was a SALES position. I was paid to talk to people. I'm now a coach. Still being paid to talk to and lead people. I love it...I'm driven by the knowledge of making a difference by my words. The larger the group the better.)

*Reading. (OMG...I still cannot believe this one. In 2009 I set a goal to read a book a week. That year I accomplished reading 45 books - pretty darn close. I now read a book every other week. I love to read - it helps me relax, teaches me, challenges me, inspires me, and sometimes even humbles me.)

*Studying. (Granted I'm not in school anymore, BUT I seek knowledge now. I think this one goes along with reading...and I love to read/study about life. I study The Word, I study about crossfit, and I study about nutrition. I've even thought about going back to school for nutritional counseling...yeah, that would definitely require studying.)

*Walking down the hall and having someone knock me over. (I'm not sure what I meant by this...BUT I'm reading into it and I dont think I was very confident. I probably didnt hold my shoulders high, didnt own my personality. I'm extremely confident now and walk proud.)

*Seeing people cry. (Ask anyone (!!)...I cry more than any female should cry. I cry at commercials, I cry when others cry, I cry when I'm excited, I cry when I'm tired. I'm completely ok with myself and others crying. I am very aware of my emotions and I often expose them more than some.)

*Trying to lose weight. (I dont try to lose weight now...I dont even weigh myself - except when it's a WOD where I have to lift a % of my body weight. I've learned that "diets" dont work, nor do I even use that word...I've made lifestyle changes to my eating habits and have become comfortable in my own skin. It's about how you FEEL from what you're eating...it shouldnt be a battle, you should enjoy the foods you consume.)

*Stress. (This is kind of an oxymoron...I still hate stress, BUT I thrive on stress. I thrive when I have a jam packed day moving from one thing to the next. I excel when I have a lot going on vs. sitting stationary. I would rather have too much going on than be bored with myself.)

A few things that havn't changed that I STILL hate...
*Taco Bell
*Oreos
*Mayonnaise
*Seeing a dead bug on the floor
*Buying gas (who doesnt hate this?!)
*Being sick
*Procrastination (I HATE to be late!!)
*Panty lines with workout pants
*Popularity

Almost the entire "I love" list is still true. I guess I'm learning a lot about opening up to loving everything about my life...I pray I continue to find ways to move those items on my "hate" list to the "love" list. There is a plan to God's work...and he's unveiling the layers of myself and my life to me one year at a time. In 10 years from now I hope to look back and continue to laugh about how I've changed and and how there is a method in HIS madness.

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

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